My first viral LinkedIn post addressed the challenge that professional parents face—we’re working two full-time jobs.
In my own life, I’ve been fortunate to work with male sponsors and leaders who parent out loud, thus decreasing the impact of the motherhood penalty in my career. But I’ve also had to advocate for myself.
In a recent LinkedIn Pulse article by Brandi Fowler, I shared five ways that working parents can ask for additional help in the office. Here’s my advice.
1. Gauge employer support even before you start the job
As a parent, it’s okay to set boundaries at work. It’s not only okay, it’s necessary for survival.
In very early hiring conversations with potential employers, I try to gauge the level of support I’ll receive. I ask questions like, “What does your organization do to support women and mothers?” or “I have school pickup at 2:15 everyday and typically take my lunch at that time—will that be a problem with working hours?”
If I get any kind of pushback on these questions—either in the interview process or further down the line—I consider it a major red flag.
2. Set clear lines of communication—with your boss and on your calendar
If I do take the job, I’ll remind my new boss of parenting responsibilities in my first one-on-one with them. Then, I put it in my calendar when I have a parent-teacher conference or when I’m taking off work to bring my kid to the doctor.
If you can create clear lines of communication between you and your manager, there won’t be any surprises when life happens.
3. Don’t make up ambiguous meetings to hide parenting responsibilities
I recently listened to a podcast where the guest explained how she puts ambiguous “busy” meetings on her calendar to hide parenting responsibilities. While I understand the inclination—we’ve heard of the motherhood penalty—I don’t think this is a healthy way to work or to improve the culture at your company.
You should not have to lie about your life in order to protect your job. That’s not work-life balance.
4. Don’t wait for the chance to highlight your accomplishments
As women, we tend to suffer from “Tiara Syndrome”—expecting people to notice our work and reward us for it. Unfortunately, this has never been my experience.
We can’t rely on others to highlight our accomplishments. Instead, we can keep track of our own work, report on it, and show our boss how we’re driving bottom-line results.
Then, when I do have extenuating circumstances or parenting responsibilities, my boss doesn’t say “Wow, Rachel’s not doing her job” or “She must not be serious about this company.” Instead, my boss’s response will be, “I know Rachel already achieved X, Y, Z this week. If she needs some space to go help her kid at school, that’s fine.”
5. If you’re a leader, learn to parent out loud
Executive teams and managers can show they support parents by being an example of someone who puts life and caregiving first. We call this “Parenting out loud.”
Anytime you step away from work for parenting responsibilities, say it out loud. Talk about it.
This is especially meaningful coming from leaders because they set the tone for their teams. They let their teams know what behaviors are safe and which behaviors are going to be penalized.
When you say, “Hey, I’m leaving work early for a dance recital,” you give permission to mothers, fathers, everyone in the room to be able to do the same.
Read the full article here and connect with me on LinkedIn.
Rachel Cottam 